Letter to a Post-Abortive Woman
In January 2007, CCBR’s executive director, Stephanie Gray, received an e-mail from a post-abortive woman who strongly disagreed with CCBR’s use of graphic visuals and who CC-ed her message to several pro-life and religious leaders.
Because the concerns the writer brings up may be raised by others, Stephanie’s response is provided below as a teaching tool. The writer is addressed by the pseudonym "Kate" and personal references have been removed to maintain confidentiality.
For complete context, read the original e-mail that prompted this letter.
Dear Kate,
I write you as a sister in Christ. Thank you for sharing your experience of redemption. I found it particularly beautiful that your daughter was the impetus for your conversion to the Catholic faith. God is indeed abounding in wisdom and mercy.
Before I address your concerns, I’d like to provide some background:
Post-abortion grief is something I encounter everywhere. In my ministry of working full-time for the pro-life cause, I frequently travel across North America speaking to people of all ages and backgrounds. I have met many, many post-abortive women on university campuses, public streets, and churches, to name a few. I have worked with post-abortive women. I have been billeted in the homes of post-abortive women. I have spoken with them, listened to them, hugged them, and both offered and received messages of hope.
Some post-abortive women have approached me after hearing my presentations to share their stories. In fact, just last week I was in Alaska and a woman approached me after a presentation in which I showed graphic visuals. She shared the stories of her abortions, of how she has had post-abortion healing, and how she wants to help and get involved. Others have confided their experience over private discussions. Some have greeted me with anger and hostility. Others have welcomed my message and shared their regret. Each woman’s experience is unique yet they all have one thing in common: pain.
I have observed that some are in pain because their abortion is a sin they have not yet repented of; they are in denial. Others are in pain because they are experiencing conviction of sin. Still others are in pain because, while forgiven, they are not yet healed. Women who are graced with both forgiveness and healing no longer experience such a sharp pain although the memory will always remain.
As for crisis pregnancies, I certainly acknowledge that the burdens and complications can be many. As a young child I frequented pregnancy care centres (PCCs) because my mom was a volunteer counsellor. Furthermore, I worked in a PCC and saw first-hand women’s difficulties. Finally, I am routinely consulted about women in crisis pregnancy—requests for both prayers for conversion and for advice when interacting with such women.
I want you to know, therefore, that my comments below come from a deep awareness of and love for "the walking wounded." And while I don’t pretend to know exactly what it’s like, I do share in their grief as a sister and as a fellow sinner. Furthermore, I don’t need to know exactly what it’s like, in the same way a drug counsellor does not need to have been addicted to drugs to form positions on drug use and to help drug addicts.
It is my love for both the unborn and for the born that compels me to expose the injustice of abortion visually. "What kind of love compels someone to show graphic pictures that make people feel bad?" some may ask. Genuine love, for you cannot have love without truth.
If you were about to drink a glass of water with poison in it, to love you would be to inform you of that. It doesn’t matter how parched you are; I need to tell you. With that knowledge you’ll act differently. Alternatively, if you have already drunk a glass of water that I know has poison in it, again—to love you would be to tell you. For with that knowledge you would know to go to poison control.
There are many, many women who choose abortion because they are not more horrified of the abortion than they are terrified of the burdens of the crisis pregnancy. No matter how much help is offered, they believe abortion is the lesser of two "evils." We cannot convey that abortion is the greatest evil by covering up the best evidence we have to prove that.
We cannot convey the evil of abortion by showing "pretty" pictures of unborn babies just as we cannot convey the evil of the Holocaust by showing "happy" pictures of Jewish boys at their Bar Mitzvahs. Can we convey the beauty of the life lost through such injustices? Certainly, and there is a place for that. But such images do not capture the other half of the message—the nature of the injustice itself, the very problem people’s consciences need to be pricked about in order to be inspired to solve.
Contrary to your reference to images of victims car accidents not being appropriate, I encourage you to read the story of Jacqueline Saburido (http://facesofdrunkdriving.com/). She survived a brutal car accident that was inflicted upon her by a drunk driver. She is now the "poster child" for an anti-drinking-and-driving campaign in Texas. The image of her beautiful face pre-accident is contrasted with her burned, distorted, and deformed face post-accident. Jacqui’s story resonates with young people precisely because they see what one person’s "choice" did to another person’s life.
Does the young man who ruined Jacqueline’s life regret his decision? Does he feel badly each time he sees her poster or another campaign against drunk driving? Quite possibly. But bad feelings do not excuse, nor should they cover up, bad behaviour. In fact, bad feelings follow from bad behaviour for those with functioning consciences—and that’s a healthy response.
In order for the young man to be healed of his sin, he needs to be forgiven. In order for him to be forgiven, he needs to repent. In order for him to repent he needs to be convicted that there is a need to repent. Conviction follows recognition of wrongdoing.
You think conviction will follow from pictures of children "missing" from a playground or "missing" from a family photograph. Perhaps in some cases. But the bulk of the history and the present of the pro-life movement involves vague, innocuous approaches like that and abortion is still going strong.
People need to feel bad in order to change and currently they don’t feel bad enough—and that’s why the pro-life movement is losing. The interesting thing is that people feel bad about abortion to a degree, so that they don’t want to see it; and yet, they don’t feel bad enough about it to not commit it, to not permit it, to, in large numbers, seek forgiveness and healing regarding it.
The history of social reform movements (a point I discuss in my presentations) shows the important role that graphic pictures play in making people respond differently to injustice, including making them feel bad. Don’t get me wrong—I’m not arguing for replacing rational arguments with a sole appeal to feelings (after all, abortion advocates base their arguments on feelings). I’m arguing that the imagery is the evidence that supports verbal argumentation for the moral wrongness of abortion. It just so happens that the imagery also has an effect on feelings which helps people come to the correct conclusion about abortion, namely, that it is morally wrong.
Furthermore, the experience of our organization shows the important role of graphic imagery. Every time we speak to high school students the audience members fill out surveys, explaining their position on abortion before and after the presentation. Time and again, people change their minds on abortion and often credit the role images played in that conversion. Here is a powerful example from a teenager who attended a CCBR presentation to a Catholic youth group:
Actually, I thought that I might be pregnant and I was going to get an abortion. After the video, it showed me what I would have done to my child.
More testimonies can be read here: http://www.unmaskingchoice.ca/newsletters
Our American affiliate receives over 50,000 unique hits to its website, www.abortionNO.org, each month (a site which shows abortions). They receive a constant stream of e-mails from women all over the world who say they decided not to abort their babies because they saw graphic imagery. Here is a testimony from a 17-year-old in West Virginia:
Well, things have been very depressing lately and my mind and body seemed like they were telling me to get an abortion, but after seeing this my heart lead my mind and body in the right direction!!! I AM TWO MONTHS PREGNANT AND I AM KEEPING MY BABY!
An 18-year-old in New York wrote this:
I was 16 when I found out I was pregnant and I considered having an abortion [until] I saw pictures of how wrong it is. Now I have a beautiful baby girl and I wonder how people can murder an innocent child.
Read more testimonies here: www.abortionno.org/AbortionNO/web_response.html
Conversely, we have also received heartbreaking e-mails from women who wish they had known several years ago what they encountered now (graphic images). Had they seen the brutality of abortion, they would not have killed their babies. A 51-year-old woman wrote the following:
Unfortunately these pictures are 30 years too late for me, and I’ll never know what it’s like to have a child. I wish you were present with these pictures in 1976.
Read more testimonies like that here: http://www.abortionno.org/index.php/site/feedback/C9/
So the question we are left with is this: "If we don’t like abortion and we don’t want people to experience abortion, why not use an approach that we know will convince people not to abort?"
If we avoid saving lives in order to save feelings, that calls into question our very determination to save lives.
Beyond that, I would argue that avoiding graphic imagery to "save feelings" doesn’t save feelings at all. It often leaves women in a state of denial, where they aren’t given strong enough motivation to seek the healing that’s available for them. And beyond that, many women who abort have subsequent abortions. So we spare women the pain from multiple abortions when they "hurt" from realizing what the first (and after conviction, only) abortion did.
One post-abortive woman told me that when she had her abortion she immediately felt bad. "But," she said, "The world told me I had no reason to feel bad. So I felt worse." She explained that she had an inner struggle going on: "I feel bad, but I shouldn’t feel bad. I feel bad, but I shouldn’t feel bad." She said that it wasn’t until she acknowledged those bad feelings as legitimate that she was able to move through the healing process.
Graphic pictures help many women move out of denial. Will that process hurt? Absolutely. But not because of the images; instead, it hurts because of the recognition of the injustice of abortion. Denial of sin is short-term gain at the cost of long-term pain. Acknowledgement of sin is short-term pain endured for long-term gain:
When I declared not my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. [Then] I acknowledged my sin to thee, and I did not hide my iniquity; I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord’; then thou didst forgive the guilt of my sin (Psalm 32:3–5).
It is not a sin to show pictures of injustice. Quite the contrary, we are commanded to expose injustice by St. Paul who said, "Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them" (Ephesians 5:11). Graphic images save lives. Graphic images move people to repent of their sin.
Exposing wrongdoing to move people to repentance is biblical. In fact, in Paul’s Letter to the Corinthians he wrote this:
For even if I made you sorry with my letter, I do not regret it (though I did regret it), for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting; for you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation and brings no regret... (2 Corinthians 7:8–10).
Post-abortive women, like everyone in society, need to understand the full measure of abortion’s evilness, so that they can accept the full measure of their guilt, and thereby receive the full measure of God’s forgiveness and mercy that He greatly desires to pour out.
Showing images of aborted babies shows no disrespect in the same way that showing images of starving children in Africa shows no disrespect, or showing Jesus Christ on the crucifix shows no disrespect, or showing images of the brutalization of Blacks from the civil rights movement shows no disrespect. What is disrespectful are the acts themselves: killing the unborn, starving the born, crucifying an innocent man, or beating up peaceful people simply because they’re black.
Disrespect for human life continues when it is kept secret. As my colleague Gregg Cunningham has pointed out, "Injustice that is invisible inevitably becomes tolerable." But as people of good will, we are called to be a light in the darkness. Light exposes things for all to see.
Would I want to be remembered as a dismembered aborted fetus, you ask? If I was killed at a time where my peers were also being killed, I certainly would want the evidence of the crime, through my dismembered body, shown. My concern would not be, "I don’t want dismembered pictures." My concern would be, "I don’t want dismemberment."
Anyone who is a victim of injustice desires that the evidence of the crime be made public, if not for themselves (it may be too late) but for other people and generations. I regularly spend time studying history and social movements and it is very evident that those who inflict injustice are desperate to cover it up; conversely, people who face injustice are desperate to expose it. Even forgiven and healed post-abortive women recognize the need to expose—not cover up—injustice by sharing their testimonies, the facts of their stories, so that others will not do the same (e.g., the movement of post-abortive women called "Silent No More" does this).
In the same way, the born must share the testimonies of the aborted unborn (since they themselves cannot). Graphic pictures are a powerful tool for this.
The pro-abortion movement has succeeded by trumpeting feelings over lives. In other words, the feelings, concerns, and burdens that may come with the crisis pregnancy are given more importance than the unborn child’s life. And so, unborn babies are killed as a result. The last thing the pro-life movement needs to do is to follow the same pattern of putting feelings over lives, of hiding the horror of abortion because exposing it makes us feel bad. All the while, babies get killed precisely because the horror of abortion is not known. In understanding God’s grace and finding true healing, we should realize that the pain of one’s own loss should not prevent others from being saved.
In 1955, a 14-year-old black boy, Emmett Till, was brutally beaten and killed by white racists in Mississippi. When his mutilated body was recovered, his mother held an open casket funeral saying, "Let the people see what I’ve seen" ("The Murder of Emmett Till," PBS documentary, 2003). Through this story and image, Emmett is credited as being the catalyst for the civil rights movement (see research by Dr. Clenora Hudson-Weems who wrote the book, "Emmett Till: The Sacrificial Lamb of the Civil Rights Movement"). Was Emmett’s mother, Mamie, heartbroken? Most certainly. But not because of the image of his dead body. But instead because he was dead, because he was killed. She didn’t want any more children to suffer the same fate as her own child.
With regards to the civil rights movement, Dr. Alveda King is a post-abortive woman who is the niece of civil rights leader Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. She is a pastoral associate with Priests for Life in New York. In her essay "Visual Learning and the Culture of Life" she writes the following:
For many years, I have been an outspoken advocate for the unborn child, because in a culture of abortion, the child is like a slave. The new civil rights movement of our time is the pro-life movement, and as I seek to preserve the dream of my uncle, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and of my father, Rev. A.D. King (Martin’s brother), I ask the question, ‘How can the dream survive if we murder the children?’ I grew up seeing these two great men fight for the equal rights of their people.
But equality is not something you can see. What you can see are people. My uncle knew that the ugly reality of segregation had to be seen visually by the American public. He therefore organized events at which the eyes of the media could broadcast the way our people were treated when water hoses and dogs were unleashed on their peaceful marches. People responded to those images, not simply to abstract concepts of ‘segregation’ and ‘equality.’
Likewise, people—and especially African Americans—respond to the disturbing images of aborted children. Sure, some people get angry when we show them. But everyone who fights injustice has to be ready to pay a price. My uncle did, and so did my Dad. So does everyone who has the courage to show the ugly reality of abortion. Don’t be afraid to do so. Many people are grateful. As a woman who has had two abortions, I am grateful that the truth is being shown, so that others can avoid this pain in the first place (www.priestsforlife.org/articles/visuallearning.htm).
I sincerely pray my message is received well by you, Kate. I mean only good will. I pray that you will be able to offer up your suffering of being reminded of your abortions in the interest of saving babies. While it is too late for [your two children], it is not too late for others.
I certainly recognize that there are many things to be done to rid the Culture of Death and to build a Culture of Life. I applaud the essential work of post-abortion ministries. In fact, it is my plan for CCBR to meet with such ministries in the Calgary area. I know [name of pro-life leader who was CC-ed on both the original e-mail and this response] and this plan will involve us meeting with her and [said pro-life leader's post-abortion ministry]. So while I thank you for the invitation to attend [said post-abortion ministry] with you, we will begin such networking via [said pro-life leader].
Far from CCBR’s approach counteracting other pro-life activities, such as post-abortion ministries, it is a fundamental base. Like the story of Emmett Till, graphic abortion images act as a catalyst for change and healing. To understand our role in the broader pro-life movement requires much more writing or a whole presentation. Thankfully, I am doing the latter at your parish. I pray you will attend.
Most sincerely and with prayers,
Stephanie Gray
Executive Director
P.S., As for your offer of coffee, yes, I would be happy to meet with you and hear about your journey of reconciliation. Please provide some dates and times that work for you.
For complete context, read the original e-mail that prompted this letter.
Original Email
In January 2007, the following e-mail was sent to CCBR’s executive director, Stephanie Gray, and was CC-ed to several pro-life and religious leaders. The writer, a post-abortive woman, was expressing her disagreement with CCBR’s use of abortion imagery.
This e-mail is being published in order to provide the necessary context for Stephanie’s response. The message, therefore, is presented entirely in its original form, with the exception of names of individuals and groups being removed for confidentiality.
After reading the e-mail below, readers are invited to read a commentary from another post-abortive woman.
Dear Stephanie,
The images that are displayed on the CCBR website and which are used as a vehicle to "unmasking the choice" are greatly disturbing to me as an post-abortive woman and bring me great distress and grief. These images are my CHILDREN; they are not some once removed objects that have no face or no name. My children’s names are [name] and [name] and are held within my heart and soul each and every day of my life. It is with great sadness and with great objection that images such as these are used as tools of shock value in the name of education. My children are not objects and their death is not something to be displayed. Stephanie do you have children? Would you want your children who were in a car accident and dismembered to be displayed on a billboard so that you could shock drivers to slow down? I sincerely doubt that. Most if not all individuals who would view these images whether they be of accident victims or aborted children which have dismembered bodies would agree that the circumstances of their death and the dismembering of their bodies is of such visual indignity that it is emotionally and psychologically repulsive. I do not disagree with you that my children died under horrific circumstances, but do you not think that I am not also impacted in knowing the truth of how my children died. Do you believe that those that have abortions are not impacted by the choice they have made and have taken responsibility for and that choice must be faced and addressed on a daily basis? Do you know anyone that has lost a child, Stephanie by other circumstances than abortion? These individuals are in a sea of grief that lasts for years, do you think that they do not grieve their children daily and are subject to traumatic physiological stress when they hear of other situations in which children have died. Can you find it in your heart to realize that this is the same situation for post abortive woman? I am one of the lucky one’s Stephanie; I have come to terms with my children deaths through the grace of Jesus Christ.
I was seventeen when I had my first abortion and was not given a choice by my parents or his, I was going to have an abortion whether I wanted it or not. I cried for two weeks prior to my abortion and prayed that my child would be delivered into Gods hands. At that time I delivered my soul to hell for it was a small price to pay for the freedom of my child to enter heaven. My life was impacted by unresolved grief until I became a Catholic at the age of 43 and the most graced filled goodness was that it was my daughter that led me to the Catholic Church and to the freedom of reconciliation between my children, God and myself. The choice of an abortion is not black and white Stephanie and it is often made within "crisis" and with the lack of support by members of your own family and the people you believed loved you the most.
Because my children were dismembered by abortion does this entitle them to be treated with any less respect than others who have died in tragic and unconventional circumstances? It is particularity disturbing to me that for someone that obviously is concerned with the rights of the unborn would subject these innocent children whom have souls in heaven to display their death in such graphic detail. Is their right to privacy and dignity in death less than others that have died in tragic situations? I believe not.
When I look at the images of dismembered aborted children I am aware that these are my children, but Stephanie these are not the faces of my Children. Like me they have been transformed by the saving grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. My children have transcended these images and live in heaven and are now reflected within the face of Jesus Christ and the knowledge that they are eternally with Him. My children are also free but not disassociated with the tragedy of their death. Neither my children or myself can change what I have been done, but what God’s grace has done has allowed me to see the world through the eyes of my aborted children.
We are both defenders of life, Stephanie, but I do not believe that the display of aborted dismembered fetuses addressed the complexity of abortion and the circumstances of a society that does not provide an adequate social framework for the imperfections of humanity and our human souls. Is this not the real issue? What kind of society do we uphold when we kill our own children because we can’t or won’t institute the social framework to support pregnant women whom have an unplanned pregnancy. That abortion becomes an answer to expedite discomfort of embarrassment and inconvenience. The saddest component of this situation is that loss of any child whether through abortion, disease or accident, that unique individual cannot and can never be replicated or replaced. The use of these children and their state of death dishonour their dignity as human persons and does not recognize the fragile and wounded situations of women and man that have aborted their child.
Would you want to be remembered as a dismembered aborted fetus? My children also do not want to be remembered this way. My aborted children have taught me "life is a gift to be celebrated." I provide this suggestion as inspiration from my children whom do not deny the circumstances of their horrific death. Instead of displaying pictures of dismembered aborted fetuses’, display the laughter and smile of all children. In speaking with the father of my first child and his discussion with his parents, he told me the most revealing statement of the loss of a child through abortion. He said, "My parents and I feel that someone is missing in our family and the person is our child."
My belief validated by my own personal experience is that the loss of an aborted child need not be reinforced by the display of dismembered and aborted fetuses’. I only need to look into my own daughter’s eyes to know day by day what has been lost. I would advocate that to picture a family with the loss of a child as a shaded child in the background with the words, "What is missing" would be as effective in delivery of the message of the impacts of abortion on individuals, families, our community and our society. Taking a playground full of children and then removing those that have been aborted also brings a strong message of what is truly lost. A picture of a playground with no children would also speak volumes of what the loss is. Combine this with the cries of a newborn child, the joy of watching a child take it’s first steps, a line of little people holding onto their partner and a rope as they journey to an excursion from their daycare, the delight of graduation of kindergarten, junior high, high school and university; the joy of fighting with siblings, family dinners, family gatherings, birthday celebrations, Christmas day and the opening of gifts. The celebration of the images of life and living are all that is needed to render images of loss. To realize that my aborted children will not be married and given in marriage by their Father, that they will not know the joy of childbirth and the miracle of life in their hands and the physical embrace of a loved one. These are the images that can never be, Stephanie. A life is not shown in the image of death, life is lived in the images of living...day by day.
My children do not want to be images of death, my children what to be images of life. (please see the attachment).
I cannot stop you from displaying these images of "our children", the children of post-abortive woman. I cannot stop you from presenting these images to members of my faith community at [name of writer's church]. What I can do is express my feelings and opinion and that as a post-abortive woman that I do not accept this lack of respect for human life in images of dismembered aborted fetuses.
As a post-abortive woman that walks within the light of Christ and in the tradition of the Catholic faith I also realize that as we have sung in our Parish recently, "All are welcomed here" and that includes you.
I challenge you to attend a [name of post-abortion ministry] Retreat here in Calgary with me and we can both journey with those who want reconciliation with their aborted children. If you are interested I could also meet you and tell you of my own miraculous journey of reconciliation and the work that I have done in conjunction with [names of three pro-life ministries]. Blessings.
Meet You at the Throne,
[Writer's name]
[Writer's church]
The writer attached the following image to her e-mail:
A Commentary on the Original Email from the Post-Abortive Woman
In May 2007, another post-abortive woman, "Monica," offered a commentary on the e-mail by the post-abortive woman who objected to CCBR’s use of graphic imagery. This commentary is published below with the permission of the writer.
Dear Stephanie,
I read the letter from the woman in distress and was struck by its intensity. I would say she needed to be heard, to be listened to. I can appreciate her pain and her need. I picked up a strong emotional reaction, that I would call anger, that seems directed at you personally. I didn’t feel good after reading the letter. I didn’t like the tone. It felt judgmental and accusatory, emotional rather than objective.
The sentence that really stood out for me was "Is their right to privacy and dignity in death less than others that have died in tragic situations?" My response to this is "What is dignified about murder?" "What is this idea about a right to privacy?" about how people are dying. This idea seems to be a reflection of our misguided culture. Somehow this line really pushed my buttons. Can you help me articulate what I am perceiving but don’t have words for? A reasoned response is what eludes me here.
As for comments: In reference to the children transcending the images of dismembered aborted fetuses (paragraph 4): The children are with God, says Pope John Paul II in The Gospel of Life (article 99), but their bodies have not seen the Resurrection so their bodies have not transcended their death. What we see is their dead bodies reflecting a breach of the fifth commandment, by human beings, exercising their free will in their fallen human nature.
Comment regarding paragraph 6: How can these children who die through abortion be "remembered" in the flesh in any other way than a "dismembered aborted fetus"? To do otherwise is to fantasize. For her children to be images of life they must be first acknowledged in their deaths. Only God can give them new remembered bodies. The displaying of the images of babies who have died through abortion does not constitute a lack of respect for human life but, in fact, as you have said, acknowledges the truth of the lack of respect for human life.
We are body and soul. I know that in the healing journey we come to face the death of our children spiritually but we must also do this physically. As one woman said to me this year after being "Silent No More" in Ottawa, "For the first time I’m facing the pain the baby felt." This woman was helped to this place of recognition by the pictures of the aborted children. She has been processing her abortion experience for a number of years. Her child was four months gestation when she was aborted at the doctor’s advice because of fetal abnormalities. Our reaction to truth is just that, our reaction. The next question is what do I do in the face of this truth? Hide or face. To hide or avoid is to repeat the pattern of Adam and Eve. To face the truth is to be healed and to be without shame.
When I watched your presentation at the youth conference I was moved to tears, but not the tears of old. I realized that my shame had been healed. I realized I had faced the truth so often that like a washed garment the suds had been rinsed out of me. The tears I was now shedding were for the other, not about me.
I could face the truth and see in it the splendor of truth, Jesus, who had washed me completely clean of shame, guilt, fear, and self-hatred. The prayer that rose up repeatedly in my soul as I viewed the images on the big screen was "Oh God, have mercy." I became aware that deep in my heart my prayer had changed. When I beheld the images of the dismembered child I became aware that God had preformed a miracle in my own heart: my reaction was different. I felt a freedom I’d not experienced before. I was then reminded of the first time that I saw a picture of an aborted baby. I was propelled into the pro-life movement because I saw the truth about what abortion really was and I wanted to do something to stop abortion. Working in the pro-life movement brought me face to face with my own abortion experience and thus my unhealed self. I was drawn by the Holy Spirit along a path of healing which would eventually lead me to co-found [name of writer's post-abortion ministry] in 1991. While listening to/viewing your presentation I was renewed in my conviction to help stop abortion, and reminded about how the journey I’ve been on began with a picture in 1981/82.
A picture of an unnamed child propelled me into action. And my life has been fruitful since that momentous decision to act on the behalf of the unborn. The fruitfulness is really that of the unborn child whose life and death made a difference in not only my life but in the lives of countless others. Even the ugliness of death can bring forth life. The mystery is that what was intended for evil has been turned to good. That child who I will one day meet participated in my salvation making his or her life not in vain. That child’s mission on earth, through his or her short life, will have a legacy of spiritual fruitfulness in Eternity.
A number of years ago I saw the GAP presentation at a pro-life conference in Toronto and I remember my reaction. I was afraid for others who were post-abortive like myself. I was afraid for myself. But I had a grace to not throw out the baby with the bathwater. I gave God permission to continue to heal me. I acknowledged the fact that I was triggered and that triggers didn’t have to be avoided, but faced. That is the hard work: facing triggers. But I agreed to co-operate with God’s grace and kept seeking help and healing. Interesting to me is how much healing I already had at that point, how I was serving in ministry and yet healing has continued up to this day. Your presentation helped to renew my conviction to continue to help stop abortion. I will do that by serving in post-abortion ministry.
In reference to the letter writer’s comment "I challenge you to attend a retreat" it sounds like you were judged and that somehow attending a retreat would change you, and thus her judgment of you. My sense is that you and what you do triggered this woman and thus you became a target for her feelings. It seems her opinions are based on her feelings and that there is more for her to work out so as to live and let live. I went to your website and I really like what I see there. It so refreshing to read thoughts that are reasoned, clear, and concise, in an age when so much is about feelings and opinions based on relativism rather than thought and reason based in truth.
I’m grateful for the opportunity to think about "unmasking truth" because it has helped me to learn more about the work you are doing, and it has caused me to reflect on my personal experience and to form an answer to the question "What do I think about using images to unmask abortion?" Personally I have been helped by the truth. Fr. Kosicki of The Shrine of Divine Mercy or Ralph Martin of Renewal Ministries once spoke about God’s "severe mercy" being a grace. It is a call to us so that we avail ourselves of His grace while it is still time for mercy. Is not this work a spiritual work of mercy, to instruct the ignorant. I’ll pray for those who see the signs, that they be open to the grace of repentance and conversion and that well-meaning people have the grace to stand still in the pain with those who are triggered by the truth, rather than suppress the truth to avoid the pain.
I’m reminded of the words of Elie Weisel, a survivor of the Holocaust, who said, "I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented."
So Stephanie, I thank God for you and all who work with you. It's people like you who helped me to heal from my abortion experience. When the war was going on inside of me between choice and truth it was the evidence that set me free. It was the Right to Life Association in my area who brought me the visual news that choice tried to keep from me, that broke the silence and validated what I knew in the deepest part of my being—that abortion had taken a human life. Painful as this realization was, in the end it brought me real life, real freedom. Thanks be to God, to the intercession of Our Lady and all those who sacrificed and prayed for me.
Blessings,
Monica